Linger
by Duzzie
Summary: AU. They're just a bunch of lonely kids in a hospital ward before he comes along: the boy with a smile like sunshine.
1. The Waiting Place

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
The Waiting Place**_

_"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being."_  
-**Carl Jung**

…

There's a boy in the hospital ward who's taken to visiting her.

She thinks he's probably crazy. He talks about pirates and make-believe. He's covered in bruises, and he has a row of stitches under one eye that pulls tightly when he grins.

She doesn't talk to him, but he keeps coming back.

After a while, some other boys follow him. One of them fawns over her, but for the most part, the others are silent.

Still, unintentionally, she grows accustomed to the warmth of their presence.

One day he comes in and she tells him her name.

He smiles.


	2. I'm Nobody! Who Are You?

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
I'm Nobody! Who Are You?**_

"_What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."_**  
-Aristotle**

…

He walks in when she's crying large, heaving sobs. She rubs at the snot running from her nose with one arm and covers her eyes with the other, screaming at him to leave.

Her hands are bandaged and sore. Underneath, burned so badly she's not sure she'll ever want to take the bandages off.

He doesn't leave, so she throws a vase at him. A frantic nurse comes running in, and immediately shoos him out.

Later that night, he comes back and places a ratty old hat on her head. She starts to cry again, but they're softer, cooler tears.


	3. Everyone Is Leaving

**Linger **  
Word Count: 100_**  
Everyone Is Leaving. I'm Still With You.**_

"_Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."_**  
- Anais Nin**

…

He drags another girl into his mishmash group, but this girl is sweet and funny and for the first time, she has made a girlfriend.

They sneak into each other's rooms and stay up late and talk about cute boys, and their boys, and him.

They don't talk about her hands, or why she has no visitors. In fact, no one talks about why they're in the ward.

She suspects Luffy's here because he's crazy, but she doesn't tell Vivi that.

Besides, they're the ones hanging onto him.

She wonders when he'll be discharged.

She tells herself it doesn't matter.


	4. Even Landlocked Lovers

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
Even Landlocked Lovers Yearn For The Sea**_

_"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved."_**  
-Kurt Vonnegut**, Sirens of Titan

…

They throw her a surprise birthday party. One of the nurses blabbed, she guesses, and one of the cafeteria ladies was kind because there's a cake and everything.

When she cries, Luffy starts laughing and Sanji kicks him and Zoro punches Sanji for kicking Luffy and Vivi pats her lightly on the back, and she wants to laugh, but she's crying too hard.

Either way, they're interrupted by a knock on the doorframe.

Two kids look in on them shyly, one of them trying to hide behind the other.

"Can we join you?" the older one asks.

Luffy grins. "Sure!"


	5. I Think I'll Go Home and Mull This Over

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
I Think I'll Go Home and Mull This Over**_

"_In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science."_  
-**Martin H. Fischer**

…

The day she's released, the doctor tells her she'll still have to make regular check-ups for a while until her hands are completely healed, so she visits them on her next check up. They end up talking about why they're there.

Sanji tells them he's there for the physical rehabilitation for one of his legs.

Vivi says she's there to visit her father.

Usopp for counseling.

Chopper for growth hormone treatment.

Zoro said his leukemia had gone into remission recently.

They all went silent at his confession.

When it was Luffy's turn, he just rubbed the back of his head.


	6. Home is Behind the World Ahead

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100  
**_Home is Behind the World Ahead_**

"_Friends are born, not made."_  
**-Henry B. Adams**

…

"Eeee~~hh… well, nothing as interesting as you guys!" he said. Sanji whapped him on the head for saying that, but he wasn't the one who interrupted.

"But you're always here, aren't you?" Usopp asked.

"Hehe, yeah, my older brother tells me I'm stupid. I get hurt a lot," he said.

"Mooo~ron," she exclaimed, but they were all a little relieved.

"Luffy, you have an older brother?" Chopper asked.

"Yeah! He's super awesome! Maybe you'll meet him sometime."

A nurse came up to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Nami-chan, it's time for you to go."

She sighed, waving good-bye.


	7. They Long to Be Close to You

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
They Long to Be Close to You**_

_"I'm exhausted trying to stay healthy."_  
**-****Steve Yzerman**

…

They met up like that for months, even as her hands smoothed out, and Sanji walked without the aid of crutches, and Zoro grew short bursts of dark hair.

Luffy ran around, rambunctious as ever, tripping on things, scraping his knees. He was bruised all over. She felt sorry for his family, having such a worrisome boy.

Zoro hovered around like a watchdog as Luffy picked himself up, huffing. She scowled, shoving an obento in his hands. "You're too skinny. Even with the way you eat, the quality of food sucks at that hospital."

"Fanks Rami," he spit.

She glared.


	8. The Things We Don't Want To Speak

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
The Things We Don't Want To Speak**_

"_Acting is a matter of giving away secrets."_**  
-Ellen Barkin**

**...**

an: here's a three-chapter update in apology for it being such a long time since my last one. **  
**

**…**

For Luffy's 16th birthday, they sneak him out of the hospital and go to see a movie. Sanji looks a little uneasy and Zoro scowls the entire time. Nami is annoyed, and is preparing to hit both of them if they don't suck it up.

After the movie she sees Zoro and Luffy walk off and talk alone. Zoro looks like he's yelling.

"What's his problem?" she directs at Sanji, who was smoking next to her.

He frowns. "Hell if I know," he says, but avoids her eyes.

Luffy prances back, slinging his arms around their shoulders.

"Let's find treasure!"


	9. This is the Beginning of the End

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100**_  
This is the Beginning of the End_**

"_For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.__"_  
-**Bo Bennett**

…

The next time they go to visit him in the hospital, they're banned in the waiting room, the staff debating whether they should be allowed to visit Luffy, especially after Zoro's more explicit cuss words.

That's when they meet Luffy's older brother.

He looks at all of them, huddled and angry, and laughs. "So you're his friends. He told me about his birthday. Thanks for taking care of my little bro."

He leads them to Luffy's room where the only one who's not surprised with what they're greeted with is Zoro.

And maybe Sanji.

She wants to kill them both.


	10. And the Cardinal Hits the Window

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100**_  
And the Cardinal Hits the Window_**

"_Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurrying.__"_  
-**Jean Cocteau**

…

He's lying on the bed, eyes dark rimmed, frail. He looks pale and tired and so un-Luffy that they don't know what to do. Usopp stutters and Vivi covers her mouth. Ace leaves the room, face unreadable.

Sanji leans against a wall while Zoro pulls up a chair. No one says a word, and Nami is pissed.

"What the hell is this?" she explodes.

"Sorry, Nami," he says, which isn't what she wants to hear.

"Don't yell at him, Nami," Zoro says, and he sounds angry, too.

"What's wrong with you Luffy?" Chopper asks.

"It's cancer, isn't it?" Sanji asks.


	11. Jewel of the Summertime

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100  
_**Jewel of the Summertime**_

"_How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him."_  
**-****Frank Herbert**

…

_an: thank you so much for the many awesome reviews! i enjoy reading them so much :)_

...

For the first time since she can remember, Luffy is looking at them seriously.

"It's cancer," he confirms with a slight nod of his head. Sanji's hands clench into tight fists, Usopp falls into a chair, Vivi cries into her hands, Chopper burries his head into Luffy's shoulder, and Zoro stays silent, as usual.

She wants to do all of this. She wants to cry and hit something and comfort Luffy all at once. But she doesn't do any of this.

But Nami does get furious. She walks out of the room, making sure to slam the door extra hard.


	12. In the Shadow of Your Heart

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100**_  
In the Shadow of Your Heart_**

"_Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on."_  
**-Alice Duer Miller**

…  
_dedication: **Eun-Jung**; thank you for your wonderful review._

_an: i've loved receiving everyone's encouraging and thoughtful reviews. thank you so much!_  
...

She's already out of the hospital, briskly walking towards the bus stop when she hears Sanji calling out. She hears him running but doesn't stop, even as he catches up to her.

His face is red from the cold and he's panting slightly. He ran out without taking his coat and even though she's angry, she takes her scarf off and wraps it around his neck with a small frown on her face.

He takes her hand and squeezes it. "Nami, go back," he says, eyes earnest.

But all she does is break down and cry, wrapped in his arms.


	13. Like a Shell Upon a Beach

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100**_  
Like a Shell Upon a Beach_**

"_One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human."_  
**-****George Santayana**

…

She visits Luffy a few days later. His brother is sitting next to his bedside, eyes focused unseeingly out the window.

She knocks quietly, not wanting to startle him. When he sees her he smiles gently and gets up, leaving her alone with Luffy. She takes Ace's place by Luffy and holds his hand.

He wakes up slowly to the muffled sound of hiccupping. She tries holding in her sobs, but when she feels him squeeze her hand it all comes running out.

Nami thinks she's probably cried more in the past week than she has in her entire life.


	14. If I Tell the World

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
But If I Tell the World, I'll Never Say Enough**_

"_Hopelessness has surprised me with patience."_**  
-Margaret J. Wheatley**

**…**

"I'm sorry Luffy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she cries.

"Don't be sorry Nami. I guess I should've told you guys." He pets her head comfortingly. "I was just having so much fun, I didn't want to change anything."

"…I knew…I knew something had to be wrong. I just ignored it. We all did….except Sanji, probably." She wipes her face with her arms and even though she's tried so hard to grow up and act mature, the little girl in her is clawing her way out into the open. "I don't want you to be sick, Luffy," she whispers.

"Yeah."


	15. In Time

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
In Time All Things Shall Pass Away**_

"_Forget regret, or life is yours to miss."_**  
-Jonathan Larson**

…

"Yeah. I know, Nami, but it's okay. It'll be okay." He looks up at the doorway as he says this and Nami turns around, still patting her eyes dry.

Zoro is standing in the doorway, his expression steely and circles as dark as Luffy's under his eyes. He just stays there, leaning against the frame.

After a moment, Luffy speaks. "Don't feel bad, okay? I'm glad you're going to live."

Like ice, Zoro's face melts, stricken. He bows his head and Nami thinks this is his way of crying.

It felt like Luffy had been speaking to both of them.


	16. Nobody Said It Was Easy

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
Nobody Said It Was Easy**_

"_Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal."_**  
-Arthur Schopenhauer**

…

Nami remembers a story her late mother once told her: a boy was lost in a forest for many days until he stumbled upon a sleeping beauty destined never to awaken. With this doomed girl he fell in love. Day after day he gazed upon her, the melody of his heart going sour with longing. Eventually the pain of his love grew to be so strong that he cut out his heart and buried it in the dirt, eternally resting beside her.

At the time, Nami had thought it was terribly romantic.

"You took my heart into the forest, Luffy."


	17. The Current Has Us Now

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
The Current Has Us Now**_

"_Not all who wander are lost."_**  
- J.R.R. Tolkien**

…

She begins to have nightmares again, the same ones that would haunt her in those first dark weeks of in'habitance in her empty hospital room.

She dreams of fire. Her mother's face burning, curling up into black nothingness before her, hands outstretched to save that beautiful, eternally smiling vision of what was once her happiness. She dreams of the putrid smell of burning flesh, of that man in the corner, laughing at her struggling. His blue, shark-like eyes always focused on her, always on her, and her mother is burning and her hands are burning, and she is burning,

burning…

…

…

…

…


	18. I'll Wear My Pearls

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
I'll Wear My Pearls**_

"_If Only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world."_**  
-Mercedes Lackey**

…

Some days are harder than others. The days when Luffy's deterioration is glaringly obvious, so weak he can hardly lift his head to greet them.

Nami holds his hands on those days, noting his thin wrists, which are as light and fragile as a bird's wings. She kisses his hands as if to pull him away from inexistence, but the abyss is so much stronger.

Sometimes she's jealous of Zoro who, without touching, can communicate with Luffy on levels she can't, but when he joins her at Luffy's bedside, (without touching) she holds onto Zoro and their mutual miseries embrace.


	19. This Lonely View

**Linger**  
Word Count: 100_**  
This Lonely View**_

"_No memory is ever alone; it's at the end of a trail of memories, a dozen trails that each have their own associations."_**  
-Lous L'Amour**

…

"I used to play baseball," Zoro said one afternoon. The room was silent, waiting for this story everyone had always wanted to hear and no one had wanted to hear.

"When I got sick, I had to stop playing. It was my life, and when I lost it I didn't feel like anything was worth fighting for… Then I met Luffy and he told me when we both got better, he'd start a team and we'd go professional…" They stood there, lingering on the edges of loneliness.

"I don't think the idiot even knows how to play baseball," he finished.


	20. Save Up All The Days

**Linger  
**Word Count: 100  
_**Save Up All The Days  
**_

"_I don't know what they are called, the spaces between seconds—but I think of you always in those intervals."  
_**-Salvador Plascencia**

…

She dreams of the ocean, the gently rocking waves and an infinitely blue sky. The sun is shining and the air is warm. She's lying down on the deck but can hear a clash of metal that, for some reason reminds her of Zoro. She smells an aroma of spices and chemicals, hears shouting and laughter, opens her eyes and sees Luffy.

She dreams of Luffy, no longer a boy, but a healthy adult. He's grinning and the scar under his left eye is pulled tightly.

She dreams of Luffy and is awoken by the harsh ringing of her telephone.


	21. Dreams That Cannot Be

**Linger  
**Word Count: 100  
_**Dreams That Cannot Be**_

"_A great man is one who leaves others at a loss after he is gone."  
_**-Paul Varney**

…

It's Sanji. He tells her that Luffy passed away two hours ago in his sleep. He tells her it was peaceful and that he went smiling. Her body feels empty as she slowly sinks to the ground and he's speaking but she can't hear him over her sobs.

What feels like only minutes later, Sanji arrives on her doorstep. When he comes in she clings to him as desperately as he holds her.

She thinks of a silly boy who, once-upon-a-time, barged into her hospital room like he owned the place and dragged her, kicking and screaming into the sunlight.


	22. Like A Bird Stealing Bread

**Linger  
**Word Count: 100  
_**Like A Bird Stealing Bread**_

"_I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life."  
_**-Martin Short**

…

They all go to his funeral, of course, because they love him. For an infinitesimal moment she contemplates not going. She doesn't want to see the flames engulf him. She doesn't want to say goodbye to him.

But she goes, because for a short time he was her entire world and she's not the only one hurting.

The funeral is filled with many types of people. Some of them are loud and some of them are somber (most of them are drunk) but all of them are mourning him.

She thinks she should have told him how wonderful he was.


	23. Be This Sunset One For Keeping

**Linger  
**Word Count: 100  
_**Be This Sunset One For Keeping**_

_**...  
**_

**an:**well, here it is, everyone, after about 18 months since starting this story, here is the last chapter. it has been great writing this, and gratifying reading your reviews. this is the end of Nami's perspective and her story with Luffy. i hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it, and keep your eyes open; you never know when another character will feel the need to share his story, too...

_**...**_

"_The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment, but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy."  
_**-John F. Kennedy**

…

They were just a bunch of lonely kids in a hospital ward before he came along. He took their hands and brought them into the world.

They visit his grave every week without fail, even as they grow older.

She still cries-sometimes-into Sanji's shoulder when they all get together. They drink and eat and laugh as they relive those old, lingering memories, waiting for the day when they will see him again.

And sometimes life is so gloriously beautiful that Nami smiles, heart full of hope.

She looks towards the sky and imagines the millions of futures awaiting them.


End file.
